Winners focus on winning, losers worry about losing

Alot of stuff has been written on the difference between winners and losers and many think they have the answer.  More than one book has been published with the title "The Winning Mindset" and I'm sure many speakers have been paid thousands of dollars to pontificate about it to large audiences.  A little revelation I had recently has helped me alot, and has also come up in conversation often recently, so I feel compelled to blog about it.

Remember when you were learning to ride a bike, you were taught to keep your head up and look down the road, to where you were going?  The theory is, if you look down at the ground beneath you, that's where you'll end up.  Same thing if you're walking a tight rope - don't look down.  You might find that really difficult to do because you're instinctually afraid of falling.  So you focus on "not falling", and often end up falling.  It's very disheartening. 

Well, the same thing applies to all situations in life.  If you focus on "not failing" or "not losing" you might find yourself failing or losing more often than you like.  What I suggest you do is focus on succeeding or winning.  Think the difference between not losing and winning is insignificant?  Think again.  Here are some more examples that are near and dear to me.

Losers are looking at the stock market worried about losing more money they already have.  Winners are finding opportunities to make money in this market.  

Losers are working hard to defend their jobs finding all the reasons why they've been treated unfairly, or why failures aren't their fault, for fear of being blamed and ultimately losing their job.   Winners are looking for ways to perform above the expectations of their employers, to learn and find new ways to challenge themselves, to progress to greater responsibilities. 

Losers focus on protecting themselves in a new relationship, and hold back for fear of being hurt again.  Winners are excited about this relationship being more than they could ever have dreamed of, and don't hold back.

Does this mean to win you need to throw all caution to the wind?  Absolutely not.  Focussing on winning means looking for the winning formula.  The winning formula includes ingredients for "not losing".  Unfortunately, if you're just looking for the "not losing" formula, you might find it, but be advised that it doesn't include any ingredients for winning.  

So, I ask you, are you trying hard not to lose?  If so, maybe you should think about trying hard to win instead.

Running out of reno runway

It's cold here in Southern Ontario tonight.  The thermometer in my car said 12 degrees Celsius tonight.  The leaves are changing colours.  Shoes and socks are a must for every day.  So is a jacket.  My golf game planned for Thursday may have to be moved as it's calling for weather that will barely break double digits up in Muskoka.  What does that mean?  Well, I'm running out of time for outdoor projects!  Let me list what I got done so far this year:

1. 

2. 

3. 

That's right.  Nothing.  Why?  Well, there's about a thousand reasons, and most of them have to do with an entire kitchen rip out/rebuild in Nobleton, and a whole-house "staging" (also known as "fluffing") project on the Danforth that have been ruthlessly monopolizing all my free time (after the toddler got his share) since April.  Okay, I might be overly dramatic, but it's true.  SO,  the list of "must-be-done-before-the-frosty-weather" list goes something like this:

1. Re-caulk the windows.

2. Replace the door on the shed.

3. Transplant the monster willow bush to the backyard.

And these are just what I consider the essentials.  The backyard makeover project that looks really good on paper complete with deck and play area has been officially relegated to "pipe dream" status for this year.  Anyone got any hot tips (read: want to volunteer their time) in the name of helping me get all this done before Thanksgiving? The Canadian edition, not the one right before Black Friday.  It's a job that won't pay well, but could earn you a return favour or two....

I won't let it be a year...

Without posting again. I think my fan base went from one to zero in the last year. Not many if you're counting heads, but 100% if you're into statistics. Either way, not some time to be proud of. But here I am, I'm back.

For those in the know, it's been a year of downs, more downs, downs again, and a whole bunch of ups. Hey, a lot can happen in a year. Without re-capping the whole thing, here's a few highlights. First, this guy turned one:


And now, he's almost two:


His dad also has another year of parenting under his belt. For those who aren't parents, parenting experience years are to work experience years what dog years are to human years. It's about 7 or 8 times the learning, stress, laughter, tears, frustration, reward and most of all fun.

I also decided to try my hand at working for a smaller organization. I had to leave a Bell and a whole bunch of really good friends behind, but overall I'm so glad I did it. Working at Edentity for a little over 3 months now has been like putting my career on a new diet and fitness regime. I've cut out a whole bunch of the stuff that was slowing me down. As a result, it's a happier career, slimmer, trimmer, and much more nimble. I'm meeting a whole new breed of people in a different industry, and most of all, I feel good about what we do. If you're thinking it's only been 3 months and the honeymoon's not over, I hope to prove you wrong... stay tuned.

I saw a new part of the world earlier this year too. Imagine letting yourself fall in love again, and waking up to this scenery for almost a week:


That was Costa Rica. Oh, and if you're wondering how I could visit Costa Rica while eliminating coffee from my diet, I didn't. Coffee was added back in around October of last year. So much for that!

I also made it to cottage country for a week this year. The stars must have aligned because we managed to pick a stellar week amidst the summer of rain. I think we had pretty much the only rainless week of the whole summer up there. Don't know what we did to deserve that luck, but we took full advantage of it.


So fan(s), I'm back. I hope you'll be back too, frequently.