Winners focus on winning, losers worry about losing

Alot of stuff has been written on the difference between winners and losers and many think they have the answer.  More than one book has been published with the title "The Winning Mindset" and I'm sure many speakers have been paid thousands of dollars to pontificate about it to large audiences.  A little revelation I had recently has helped me alot, and has also come up in conversation often recently, so I feel compelled to blog about it.

Remember when you were learning to ride a bike, you were taught to keep your head up and look down the road, to where you were going?  The theory is, if you look down at the ground beneath you, that's where you'll end up.  Same thing if you're walking a tight rope - don't look down.  You might find that really difficult to do because you're instinctually afraid of falling.  So you focus on "not falling", and often end up falling.  It's very disheartening. 

Well, the same thing applies to all situations in life.  If you focus on "not failing" or "not losing" you might find yourself failing or losing more often than you like.  What I suggest you do is focus on succeeding or winning.  Think the difference between not losing and winning is insignificant?  Think again.  Here are some more examples that are near and dear to me.

Losers are looking at the stock market worried about losing more money they already have.  Winners are finding opportunities to make money in this market.  

Losers are working hard to defend their jobs finding all the reasons why they've been treated unfairly, or why failures aren't their fault, for fear of being blamed and ultimately losing their job.   Winners are looking for ways to perform above the expectations of their employers, to learn and find new ways to challenge themselves, to progress to greater responsibilities. 

Losers focus on protecting themselves in a new relationship, and hold back for fear of being hurt again.  Winners are excited about this relationship being more than they could ever have dreamed of, and don't hold back.

Does this mean to win you need to throw all caution to the wind?  Absolutely not.  Focussing on winning means looking for the winning formula.  The winning formula includes ingredients for "not losing".  Unfortunately, if you're just looking for the "not losing" formula, you might find it, but be advised that it doesn't include any ingredients for winning.  

So, I ask you, are you trying hard not to lose?  If so, maybe you should think about trying hard to win instead.

Running out of reno runway

It's cold here in Southern Ontario tonight.  The thermometer in my car said 12 degrees Celsius tonight.  The leaves are changing colours.  Shoes and socks are a must for every day.  So is a jacket.  My golf game planned for Thursday may have to be moved as it's calling for weather that will barely break double digits up in Muskoka.  What does that mean?  Well, I'm running out of time for outdoor projects!  Let me list what I got done so far this year:

1. 

2. 

3. 

That's right.  Nothing.  Why?  Well, there's about a thousand reasons, and most of them have to do with an entire kitchen rip out/rebuild in Nobleton, and a whole-house "staging" (also known as "fluffing") project on the Danforth that have been ruthlessly monopolizing all my free time (after the toddler got his share) since April.  Okay, I might be overly dramatic, but it's true.  SO,  the list of "must-be-done-before-the-frosty-weather" list goes something like this:

1. Re-caulk the windows.

2. Replace the door on the shed.

3. Transplant the monster willow bush to the backyard.

And these are just what I consider the essentials.  The backyard makeover project that looks really good on paper complete with deck and play area has been officially relegated to "pipe dream" status for this year.  Anyone got any hot tips (read: want to volunteer their time) in the name of helping me get all this done before Thanksgiving? The Canadian edition, not the one right before Black Friday.  It's a job that won't pay well, but could earn you a return favour or two....

I won't let it be a year...

Without posting again. I think my fan base went from one to zero in the last year. Not many if you're counting heads, but 100% if you're into statistics. Either way, not some time to be proud of. But here I am, I'm back.

For those in the know, it's been a year of downs, more downs, downs again, and a whole bunch of ups. Hey, a lot can happen in a year. Without re-capping the whole thing, here's a few highlights. First, this guy turned one:


And now, he's almost two:


His dad also has another year of parenting under his belt. For those who aren't parents, parenting experience years are to work experience years what dog years are to human years. It's about 7 or 8 times the learning, stress, laughter, tears, frustration, reward and most of all fun.

I also decided to try my hand at working for a smaller organization. I had to leave a Bell and a whole bunch of really good friends behind, but overall I'm so glad I did it. Working at Edentity for a little over 3 months now has been like putting my career on a new diet and fitness regime. I've cut out a whole bunch of the stuff that was slowing me down. As a result, it's a happier career, slimmer, trimmer, and much more nimble. I'm meeting a whole new breed of people in a different industry, and most of all, I feel good about what we do. If you're thinking it's only been 3 months and the honeymoon's not over, I hope to prove you wrong... stay tuned.

I saw a new part of the world earlier this year too. Imagine letting yourself fall in love again, and waking up to this scenery for almost a week:


That was Costa Rica. Oh, and if you're wondering how I could visit Costa Rica while eliminating coffee from my diet, I didn't. Coffee was added back in around October of last year. So much for that!

I also made it to cottage country for a week this year. The stars must have aligned because we managed to pick a stellar week amidst the summer of rain. I think we had pretty much the only rainless week of the whole summer up there. Don't know what we did to deserve that luck, but we took full advantage of it.


So fan(s), I'm back. I hope you'll be back too, frequently.

It's not easy being green

As readers of this blog, and maybe even my good friend CindyDianne's blog you know that I'm trying my darnedest to get "greener". I say trying because I'm really not there yet. I own two large vehicles with 6 cylinder engines, there are still a few incandescent light bulbs in my house, I haven't taken to composting yet, I buy non-organic, non-locally grown produce most of the time, and if my brother were here he'd say there isn't a granola bar to be found in my cupboard, and I don't own a pair of Birkenstocks. (I meant silly humour and not harm with that generalization, please laugh and don't anyone be offended) The list of things I'm not doing goes on, and on, and on for sure.

Some things are just hard to adjust to, or "inconvenient" (wink, wink, nudge, nudge); I'll whole heartedly admit to that. My hats go off to the diehards out there that devote so much time and energy to this cause, and make the necessary sacrifices to save our planet. It's not easy, and it's not cheap, and people even have the gall to dismiss your efforts and extremism and call you a granola bar eating, Birkenstock wearing, tree hugger. They're mean and wrong. You're saving our planet. The world needs more of you. Please keep it up.

Where it gets a little tougher is for guys like me who aren't yet "all in". No matter what you do, you're still not doing enough, and you can't even really talk about all the good you're doing because someone is just waiting to point out all the good you're not doing. Suddenly, you're a hypocrite. And that hurts, and leaves you wondering why you even bother.

What makes being green the hardest though? The most tiresome part I find is knowing what bandwagons to get on, and which ones to avoid. For example, most recently there was a report published by CNW Marketing Research called the "Dust to Dust Automotive Energy Report" that suggested the Hummer H3 is actually "greener" than a Toyota Prius. The premise is that when you factor in the total impact to the environment, right from the extraction of raw materials, through manufacturing, useful life, and disposal, Hybrids actually are less environmentally friendly than a lot of other old fashioned gasoline cars. Imagine that. Actually, imagine the controversy that this has generated! The arguments both for and against the findings of this report are equally compelling. So who do you believe? What car should you buy? Then there's the topic of "carbon credits". If I support green efforts with cash because I can't or won't make the necessary changes to my lifestyle and be greener, but can afford to support the efforts of others with money, than am I really green? Tough question. It can be argued both ways. So what is one to do?

Unfortunately, I don't have an easy answer. Here's what I do know though. Apathy won't get us anywhere. We have to take responsibility for ourselves, and participate. There's strength in numbers, and the more we put our heads together, the more we'll figure this out. We may not get 100% of our efforts right 100% of the time, but it's better than sitting around pretending no action is required. By participate I don't mean just replacing light bulbs, and walking to work. I mean engaging in the research, the debate, and the promotion of this issue. Care enough to argue about it at least. Don't be pig-headed about it, or jump on the latest bandwagon because you were "sold" on it by a master of persuasion, but care enough to take some form of action. Please, if not for us, for your kids, or your grand kids, or their kids.

As for me, I know it's hard, and I'm actually energized by that. Go ahead and call me a hypocrite if I'm not 100% converted or fully informed. Rest assured I'm better today than I was yesterday, and I'll be even better tomorrow. To me, that's about all we can really ask of each other. If we keep pointing out our shortcomings, or worse yet give up, we won't do so well at encouraging others to join us. That just makes me more sad and depressed.

The Assault On Reason - by Al Gore

I know what you're thinking - please Steve, don't get into politics on your blog. I know, it's bad enough that my posts are so few and far between, if I start writing about politics, my readership might go to zero from the handful that I have now. So I won't. Please read on.

I really enjoyed this book. Should you read it? Well, that depends. If you believe that the state of democracy in the world today is "fine", and you're open to being challenged on that, read this book. If you believe it's not "fine" you don't need to read this book, but it might get you more fired up about it, and that's not a bad thing. If you think democracy is just about voting in elections, then please, please read this book. The only political statement I'm trying to make is if you live in a democratic society (and most of us do) you have a responsibility (not a just a right) to participate in it, and the book might help you in understanding that. You can accuse me of jumping on the Al Gore bandwagon, but only after you've read the book.

Unlike his famous movie (An Inconvenient Truth) only one small chapter is about the environment. That chapter motivated me to take more action. You might see more "green" posts from me in the future. For now, enjoy the book.